Once Upon A Time Cinema
Written & Directed by
Mohsen Makhmalbaf
Cinematographer: I long for you Atieh (the Future). On my return we shall rent two workshops in Shams al-Emare. A backroom for my very own Atieh, and a front-lot for cinematography.
Atieh: Oh, how have you deluded our youth away here.
Cinematographer: My absence in Europe shall put an end to all delusions. No effect. I must accompany the Sultan to bring back objects of cinematography.
Atieh: Sitting here waiting in your absence, I dreamt a strange dream; a wedding feast. You were overcome with delight. The bride was unveiled for the first time to receive her token from Sultan. But she was not me.
Cinematographer: Who was our bride then?
Atieh: Cinematography. When will you return?
Cinematographer: When? Before the snow melts. Goodbye Atieh.
Cinematographer: First Tuesday. The snow stopped half way. The cloud vanished, but my heartache is here to stay.
Cinematography equipments were purchased. The Sultan Immediately ordered, the ceremonies of his majesty’s return to be put into motion pictures. I humbly remarked to the sultan that the equipment of cinematography are a heavy load. He ordered a few porters to be hired. Attendant searched everywhere, but to no avail. I carried the entire load myself.
Second Thursday. Three days of admirable welcome and high festivity. All is fair here. Plentitude everywhere. But there is no Atieh, no Atieh for me.
Third Friday. I long for you Atieh.
Forth Friday. I long for you Atieh. Ah where are you Atieh?
Fifth Sunday. We visited cinematography with his Majesty. It was appointed I should borrow a sum from the treasury to establish cinematography and to attain your love.
I got the feeling this trip will come to an end soon. I miss you lot, Atieh.
I am filled with the joy of return. We have started on our journey as of yesterday. The journey is long. The horses are weary. The attendants lose strength one by one. But my heart is brimmed with joy of our union.
Cinematographer: Your Majesty, focus on my finger and relate from Paris for the chronicle.
Muzzafar-al-Din Shah: Sunday 17th Tir 1279. Accompanied by yourself Ebrahim Khan the Cinematographer, we visited the Cinematography and the lantern-magic. You have no idea, what a strange thing the Lumiere brothers did to us in that dark room!
Cinematographer: Cut, your Majesty.
Mozzafar- al Din Shah: You know, “cut” means “shut up”. The doors of my private chambers are closed! Why don’t my wives let me in? Chamberlain, Anything wrong while we were away?
Chamberlain: Minor matters, I shall make mention. The Czar demanded tribute of Ten million Roubles. We submitted to regain Eshgh-Abad. Their promise of no consequence. The attendants of leisure and pleasure, the eunuchs and household servants at most content to scraps and raiments of servitude now demanded a livelihood. We rejected their plea. They have turned to common beggars.
Beggar: A penny for the poor, your Majesty.
Muzzafar-al Din Shah: better than being without a job!
Chamberlain: concubines of third degree, the old women now reached fifty and constantly at prayer, demanded an allowance. It was not granted. They declared the Harem closed to the Sultan.
Muzzafar-al Din Shah: I’m done for! Why didn’t you pay them?
Chamberlain: How? The treasury is as crystal clear as your Majesty’s heart.
Muzzafar-al Din Shah: Oh Damn! And here I was thinking of my people to give them cinematography.
Don’t count on a penny from me.
Cinematographer: What about my Atieh, your Majesty?
Muzzafar-al Din Shah: My dear dad….
Cinematographer: You promised me on the Royal journey, your Majesty. Have you forgotten?
Muzzafar-al Din Shah: I don’t have a roof over my own head. I’ve ended up over my father’s grave.
Cinematographer: It’s been twenty years. Twenty long years since Atieh is waiting and yearning under those barren trees for me. How shall I face her? I beg your Majesty’s pardon, say a little prayer for me too.
Muzzafar-al Din Shah: Dispatch the cinematographer to Tabriz to my son to establish cinematography.
Chamberlain: Go to the Sultan’s Father.
Muzzafar-al Din Shah: Where did you send him, you sorcerer?
Chamberlain: To your father as you commanded your Majesty.
Muzzafar-al Din Shah: Heaven forbid. I said to my son. Just like the Minister’s washerwoman. I said Don’t. You heard Do and you cut off her head.
Cinematographer: Chamberlain, but why send me among the ghosts of women?
Chamberlain: The accused; Ebrahim-Khan known as Cinematographer. Offence, Cinematography in the Royal Private Chambers.
Cinematographer: Your Majesty, the Chamberlain knows me.
Chamberlain: Your devoted servant, I am not acquainted with the accused.
Cinematographer: But I received urgent order from your son Muzzafar-al Din Shah to establish cinematography.
Naser-al Din Shah: You rascal. I Am not dead for my son to become king yet. My little Malli. Put an end to his story.
Amir Kabir: The Sultan has always made haste in his judgments.
Naser-al Din Shah: Cinemato.. what?
Amir Kabir: graph, your Majesty. It’s a motion picture.
Naser-al Din Shah: And of what purpose is this motion picture?
Amir Kabir: Grow rice should you intend to harvest in one year. Plant trees to gain fruits in ten. Cultivate a person to develop in a hundred years. Cinematography cultivates people.
Allow the cinematographer to relate his account.
Cinematographer: As your humble servant, I have a script of a certain officer of justice apt to press taxes on peasants un-justly more than flesh and blood can take.
Chamberlain: Your Majesty, the Police Department will be threatened by this tale.
Amir Kabir: It is bribery that threatens the Police Department, your Majesty.
Mallijack: Oho.., bribery threatens the Police Department.
Amir Kabir: Make haste. I foresee a storm!
Naser-al Din Shah: Amir Nezam, don’t try to swindle us again in favor of the nation.
Cinematographer: Perhaps a tale of a Sultan prone to love and passion?
Chamberlain: Dismissed. Restricted only to the private chambers of the Sultan.
Amir Kabir: No more word of this or that. Relate your own account. Your own.
Cinematographer: An account not as yet scribed of a film director inquiring a tale. He acquaints a person resentful of cinematography for reasons of unfamiliarity with the industry. The director records his daily life. Upon seeing himself on the screen he make amends with cinematography. I have named this script Haji the Actor of Cinema.
Chamberlain: Bring the prince and the princes to watch.
Naser-al Din Shah: All these children are mine?
Harem Confident: Yes, your Majesty.
Naser-al Din Shah: Is this ours too?
Harem Confident: Yes, your Majesty. Salar-al-Doleh born to Ezat-al-Muluk.
Naser-al Din Shah: The concubine from Bahrain. The one from two and a half years ago.
Naser-al Din Shah: Salar-al-Doleh is merry. Look my son.
Golnar: Don’t tease. Let me go.
Jafar: Do you want to come to Tehran with me?
Golnar: Tehran! Tehran? They say it is a lovely place but the people are no good.
Golnar: Jafar!
Cinematographer: Golnar, go back.
Naser-al Din Shah: Heaven forbid. Was this a fantasy or reality?
Cinematographer: cinematography makes fantasy of the real and shows reality to be a fantasy. Quick, touch up your make-up Golnar. Jafar is waiting.
Naser-al Din Shah: Don’t let her get away my little Malli.
Ramazan: Didn’t I tell you not to leave the house? You want a beating?
Golnar: What? Beat me?
Ramazan: And How! Bring my whip.
Golnar: Don’t hit me! Don’t hit me, please!
Harem Confident: What befalls the Sultan?
Chamberlain: Your Majesty is ailing?
Naser-al din Shah: Bring back that fair fantasy.
Cinematographer: It was a onetime fantasy, your Majesty.
Naser-al din Shah: What use are our chain and bars?
Chamberlain: Force serves servitude.
The cinematographer is a man of the heart.
His Majesty’s Royal heart desires your created beauty.
Naser-al Din Shah: Golnar… Golnar come back.
Cinematographer: No, until I have Atieh.
Cinematographer: Run away Golnar.
Naser-al Din Shah: Don’t let her get away Chamberlain.
Golnar: Don’t tease. Let me go!
Naser-al Din shah: Tehran? Tehran! They say it’s lovely place, but the people are no good.
Naser-al Din Shah: Take Golnar to the Private Chamber.
Golnar: Jafar!
Naser-al Din Shah: Harem Confident. Register Golnar’s name under the list of my wives.
Harem Confident: Yes, your Majesty.
Naser-al Din Shah: Where are you going?
Cinematographer: I brought you cinematography, but I was deceived.
Naser-al Din Shah: Off with you, you dandy.
Amir Kabir: This workshop belonged to Kamal-al Molk who did not sacrifice his art for daily bread. Do likewise.
Cinematographer: It is for burden of bread that Atieh waits under barren trees. Command the Chamberlain to send me to Atieh.
Amir Kabir: He is an expert to send into the past, not the future.
Cinematographer: What is to become of me? Shall I ever join Atieh, or will I rot like the passage of time.
Amir Kabir: There is no escape of destiny. By degrees you shall make industry of cinematography. If times be inclined towards change, you shall reach Atieh.
Cinematographer: When I was living in the future, I saw the Sultan commanded to assassinate you in the public bath.
Golnar: Jafar!
Sogoli: So this Golnar! You shameless wretch. Proud of your white teeth, are you? These white-haired hags once had white teeth too. Let the women see to her. Put her on the slide.
Golnar: Who? Me?
Sogoli: Fakhr-al Doleh, put her on the slide. Do something. Soon she will be the most favorite of the Sultan. She will give orders. Say something Muluk- al Saltaneh. Look at me. Is she fairer than I? why don’t you move? They take her to the bridal Chamber. You powder your faces? Get up!
Put her on the slide. Is this wretch of a woman to be favored by the king?
Golnar: Hit me?
Sogoli: What are you doing? Don’t you hear me? Have you gone deaf? Why don’t you move? Put her on the slide. Look at me you old hags! Am I old? Am I old? Am I old?...
Golnar: Jafar!
Naser-al Din Shah: Don’t I compare to Jafar?
Harem Confident: Let us go Mallijak.
Nase-al Din Shah: Malli stays here with us.
Harem Confident: What? Stay here? Surely people will talk unfavorably of such company!
Naser-al Din Shah: Go to damnation!
Harem Confident: I beg your Majesty’s pardon.
Naser-al Din Shah: Does my little Malli know how to work this object of wonder and delight?
Mallijack: Watch me! I am a far better Cinematograper!
Naser-al Din Shah: You little devil. You soon learnt the trick.
Golnar: Don’t tease. Let me go.
Naser-al din Shah: Do you want to come to Tehran with me?
Golnar: Tehran? Tehran! They say it’s lovely place, but the people are no good.
Sogoli: It is unlike the Sultan to make merry with a concubine more than one night. Nine nights and eight days go by and his Majesty stays within the bridal Chamber.
Cinematographer: Your humble servant is most discontented too, my ladyship.
Cinematographer: The Sultan has captivated my fancy and keeps her by force.
Sogoli: Tell me. Is she more beautiful than me?
Cinematographer: Eyes are blind to the Chambers of the Sultan.
Sogoli: She is no raving beauty. It is the art of cinematography that bewitches and turns the monkey into the moon.
In secret take motion pictures of me so I may win the Sultan’s heart again.
Cinematographer: God forbid! Sultan’s wife becoming an actress?! He shall command the Lummier Brothers to be beheaded.
Sogoli: Remedy my misfortune. Make his Majesty desire me again.
Cinematographer: Shame on Cinematography, which has turned to a plaything of kings!
Sogoli: I shall promise you a slave for the night. Start the festivity.
Sogoli: It has become a fashion, artist trying to look like ascetics!
Cinematographer: I am not an ascetic, I am in love.
Sogoli: Even Mallijack can do your job…!
Rashid: I beg your forgiveness. Forgive my mother.
Naser-al din Shah: Golnar
Sogoli: Which Golnar?
Naser-al din Shah: Golnar
Sogoli: Golnar-al Saltaneh Varamini?
Naser-al din Shah: Golnar
Sogoli: Golnar-al Doleh Shirazi
Naser-al din Shah: Golnar
Sogoli: Or Golnar-al Nesa Varamini. Seven Golnars are registered in your Majesty’s Harem.
Naser-al din Shah: Golnar
Sogoli: Search Golnar among the women of the Harem.
Naser-al din Shah: My Golnar
Old woman: Bibi Saltaneh the king’s third favorite.
Naser-al din Shah: Golnar
Woman: I am the Twenty Fifth favorite.
Naser-al din Shah: Golnar
Woman: I am the Fifty Six.
Naser-al din Shah: Golnar
Woman: I am the Sixty Seven favorite. Which one are you?
Mallijack: Your Majesty we have found Golnar.
Naser-al din Shah: My Golnar
Sogoli: Jafar
Naser-al din Shah: You devil.
Mallijack: This is Roufia Shah Baba. You once loved her.
Mallijack: Golnar is your last favorite woman.
Naser-al din Shah: I am not Shah Baba. I am Jafar. Do you want to come to Tehran with me?
Mallijack: Tehran? Tehran! They say it’s a lovely place, but the people are ….
Sogoli: You devil.
Cinematographer: My love, Atieh. Do you remember our youth under the barren trees, unaware of all the children spying on us?
Young Cinematographer: Dear Madam!
..what a fine weather. What bliss being alone here with you. Away from all those menacing glances.
Herald: His Royal Highness desires to watch Cinematography.
Herald: His Royal Highness enters the private Chamber.
Mallijack: Speaking granted Mirza Aghasi
Mirza Aghasi: be it known that there should not be any motion pictures obtained which would be offensive, unflattering or discontented remarks directed towards the person of the Sultan in any manner, explicit or indirect, in brief or at length.
Sogoli: Rashid
Chamberlain: The script may not display signs of insolence, animosity or insensibility towards the cavalry, the police, the Ministry of Justice, the Ruling Governor and their kinds…
Mallijack: On failing to do so, the cinematographer shall be imprisoned, his instrument confiscated, tribunal charges collected and public dignity defended.
Old Film: He is still thinking of ripping people off. Come on I am here to get your life.
The boy in the old film: Haj Agha, when we arrive in Paradise, do you fancy a girl or a boy for the night?
Haj Agha In the old film: I am frightened to death; you are asking me what I prefer tonight?
Voice of Angel in the old film: go to hell you sinners.
Herald: The Sultan invites the nation to visit the open cinema in Golestan Palace to watch THE GIRL FROM LORESTAN.
Naser-al din Shah: My darling Malli go and help this weak old woman.
Mallijack: Hey granny. Let me thread your needle.
Old Woman: Who are you, my dear?
Mallijack: I am Mallijack, his Majesty has sent me to thread your needle.
Old woman: God bless him, my dear. Where did you go then?
Mallijack: Tehran? Tehran! They say it’s a lovely place, but its needles have small holes.
Naser-al din Shah: Bravo Malli
Old woman: My eyes are too weak. Did you thread the needle?
Mallijack: I have to thread this in the light.
Mallijack: You’re right we can’t thread this needle. They have made a fool of us both.
But where are you taking the cinematographer? Your Majesty, how am I to get out of this screen?
Naser-al din Shah: Get Mallijack out.
Chamberlain: Order of his highness. Get Mallijack out.
Mallijack: Granny watch out for the needle. Don’t get it in your foot.
Herald: The Cinematographer is condemned to recreate the film GIRL FROM LORESTAN.
Mallijack: Wake up! Wake up!
Herald: The accused is sleeping.
Naser-al din Shah: Golnar
Herald: Take this to Anis-al Doleh. That one to Fakhr-al Doleh. Hurry up move…..
Herald: Mirza Aghasi granted audience.
Mirza Aghasi: I bear your Majesty a letter of confidence from Amir Kabir.
Naser-al din Shah: Turn this thing off.
Letter from Amir Kabir: Your Royal Highness. The state and the nation are devastated, the peasantry are tearing each other apart. Czar has invaded the city of Eshgh abad. The Sultan is engaged with his Mallijack, his lady fair, his lady bountiful, his lady sweet all own the pleasure slide. Only a mysterious hero must appear and God willing bring honor to this nation.
Naser-al din Shah: Search amongst our nation, provide us with the mightiest of all to release Amir Kabir and assign our new hero to carry the burden of our nation’s honor.
Man: Oh my God, Farmon is coming.
Old woman: No, you have promised you will never fight again.
Farmon: Let me go. It is my honor.
Farmon: Gheysar where are you, they have killed your brother!
Man: Is this the great Farmon?
Bath Attendant: God bless your health.
Man 2: Masht Safar
Bath Attendant: Yes?
Man 2: They have cut somebody up in the bath.
Bath Attendant: I’m done for.
Herald: Gheysar Granted his Majesty.
Cinematographer: Go back Gheysar
Naser-al din Shah: Gheysar stays
Herald: The Sultan Commands Gheysar to stay.
Naser-al Din Shah: Bravo Gheysar. I approve. Bring the robe of honor.
Chamberlain: Dry robe
Mallijack: Bring the dry robes.
Naser-al din Shah: Leave Karim Abmangol to me. You take Amir Nezam.
Gheysar: Amir Nezam?
Chamberlain: The former Prime Minister. The renowned Amir Kabir.
Naser-al din Shah: Put an end to his story. We wish to release Amir Kabir from the honor of nation an offer it to you.
Gheysar: Merciful God! You don’t pity high or low, do you?
Cinematographer: Go and witness!
Naser-al din Shah: Eighty four wives, none of them ever loved me. I didn’t love them either. Except Babrie, holding her, kissing her, loving her. Babrie was my cat. she was Mallijack’s playmate. The wives became jealous and did away with her. I only have Golnar now. Do you want to come to Tehran with me?
Naser-al din Shah: Cinematographer, I wish to participate in Cinematography and become a famous actor.
Cinematography: Your Majesty will regret his decision when sober.
Naser-al din Shah: Be careful. They want to shoot you.
Harem Confident: His Kingdom for Golnar? Who is this woman? Who knows what goes on under the covers.
Chamberlain: Why don’t you drink, Cinematographer?
Cinematographer: A Cinematographer loses sense on negatives and regains it on positives.
Cinematographer: Destiny did not make his Majesty a mighty king. Let us see if he will become a professional actor like Jafar?
Naser-al din Shah: What are you doing?
Ciematographer: Make-up your Majesty. It’s what we do everyday.
Naser-al din Shah: No one has ever un-crowned me!
Cinematographer: But often crowned the fool your Majesty.
Say Ah!
Naser-al din Shah: Ah!
Doctor: Wider!
Niyatal-Khan: What’s wrong, doctor?
Doctor: Tough neck, bulging belly. Signs of stroke and it could happen any moment.
Cinematographer: Drink up.
Naser-al din Shah: I shall lose my dignity!
Cinematographer: Your dignity? You are still drunk; you must regain your wit for this.
Naser-al din Shah: But why a cow? Who says I look like a cow?
Cinematographer: You will, if you live through the feeling. This is an actor’s first lesson.
Chamberlain: but, your Majesty.
Cinematographer: Oh, no. That’s not the way to carry the plough.
Chamberlain: I sooner die than to see you undignified, your Majesty. Chamberlains, attendants come quickly. You devil.
You were supposed to change the Sultan into Jafar for the sake of Golnar.
Cinematographer: You have to plough the land and provide milk for Mashd Hassan and his family. No, no, you can’t fool us with you dying. Mashd hassn won’t believe you’re dead. He’ll turn into a cow himself.
Chamberlain: I have to send you back to the Stone Age.
Cinematographer: There is no return in time. No escape from the future, no escape, no escape.
Chamberlain: Back to the Stone Age.
Cinematographer: The cow in the meadow of wisdom was not hungry. The donkey knew how to act out eating his hey. Your Majesty, do not act. Feel like a cow. Actually chew the hey. Go on chew it, your Majesty. Turn your head. Actually swallow the hey.
Nasirian: Are you alright Masd Hassan?
Mashd Hassan: I’m not Mashd Hassan. I’m his cow.
2nd Man: Don’t say that.
Mashd Hassan: Mashd Hassan. Mashd Hassan. They’re here. They want to take me away, throw me into the well, cut my head. Mashd Hassan save your cow, save your cow, save...
Naser-al din Shah: Save your cow…
Cinematographer: That’s enough.
Naser-al din Shah: It’s so difficult to be a cow.
Cinematographer: Behold the sight Atieh from the above hearken the cry, I am slain for your love.
Chamberlain: The accused, Ebrahim Khan known as Cinematographer. Offence, Insult to the Royal figure of Sultan.
Put an end to Cinematographer’s story, your Majesty.
Naser-al din Shah: I’m not his Majesty. I’m Mashd Hassan cow. A cow.
Mallijack: Everyone knows this your Majesty, but no one dares to mention it.
Chamberlain: Your Majesty.
Naser-al din Shah: I’m a cow.
Mallijack: Get a hold of yourself, your majesty. You’re making a fool of us all.
Naser-al din Shah: Golnar, Mashd Hassan.
Mashd Hassan. They want to slay your cow. Throw him into the well.
Mallijack: Get away, Get away. Bring the coach.
Mogul: What is Cinema?
Naser-al din Shah: Golnar
Atieh: My name is Atieh. Did anyone ask after me on your way?
